The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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