i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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