She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
