I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
