Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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