Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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