Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
