I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
