party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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