i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
