loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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