I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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