doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
