At least make sure they are 18
Why
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
