no. you can't hotbox the world.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
