So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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