i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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