i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
