i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
