if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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