I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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