whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
