do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
