note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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