5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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