Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
