I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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