Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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