Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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