All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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