I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
