I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
