im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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