i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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