did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
