as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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