so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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