i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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