I CAN MOONWALK!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
