Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
