you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
