I am in a vortex of obligation.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
