i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
