Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
