please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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