Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
