every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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