No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
