This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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