you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
