I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
two words...techno handjob
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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